New Years Hike

We decided to go for a small New Years Day hike, so we went up to the Dixie Rock and well hiked around.  Ryann enjoys being outdoors, posing, and looking stylish.

 

Christmas 2012

This year we decided to spend Christmas in Aurora. Ryann was super excited about it being Christmas and was even more excited that it had snowed, lots.   Ryann woke up one morning after it had snowed and sweet talked her Papa into going outside to play aka eat snow while Papa builds a snowman, they both enjoyed it.

We also went above town and went sledding.  Ryann loved being pulled in the sleigh, as long as Mom wasn't riding with her, we seemed to take on the snow with the heavy weight.  Ryann asked if I went sledding when I was little, and I said I did but we went down hills in trash bags, its true, she just laughed.

Ryann had an elf that visited her off and on through out the Christmas season, and so on Christmas Eve, Jasmine aka the elf, left her a Christmas card (Ryann loves getting cards), and some cozy PJ's for being such a good girl.  Christmas day brought lots and lots of presents for a very sweet spoiled girl.  At the end of the day, Ryann asked when Christmas was coming again.  I told her she would have to wait another year, but we could carry the Spirit of Christmas with us all year long, she just smiled and said okay, and then quickly added a list of things she wanted for the next Christmas, silly girl. 

Max Lowell 

Anthony and I decided to add on to the family.  In June 2012 we found out we were pregnant, and at 15 weeks, learned that we would be having a boy.  We were excited and even Ryann was okay with the baby being a boy and not a girl.  At about 19 weeks we learned that our son's hands were tied up in the cord and that his hands would not be developed normal, they would be imperfect.  Anthony and I accepted this, and we were ready to take our son's hands into ours and face the world, face whatever challenges would come his way.  I was so ready to be a mom to such a special little guy.  I was ready.   However; God had a different plan, and on Nov. 6, Max returned to live with our Father in Heaven. It was Max's Perfect hands that took ours and has helped us through this, as well as blessing us in so many ways.  As I was sitting in the hospital trying to get a lifetime worth of holding my sweet boy, my heart breaking, a feeling of peace was with me.  I have always believed Families Are Forever, but that day those words became so much more, as did many more things that I have known to be true.  I love this picture, and this is how I picture my son, as he is patiently waiting for me.  

One day while I was looking for stories of other Angel Mom's I came across an organization called Teeny Tears.  It was started by an Angel Mom, and has blossomed over the past few years.  Teeny Tears is perfect in so many ways, and has been a perfect way for me to keep Max's Love Alive.  These little diapers were sewn by me, I know Megan and a sewing machine, and donated to DRMC, which already has a beautiful bereavement program, just adding to it.   There are 2 diapers for each set, a set will go to a future Angel Mom, 1 diaper will be for the beautiful Angel Baby, and the other will be for the mom, something special to hang on to.  I have enjoyed sewing these diapers, on days where the tears just come, or when I find myself on my knees begging to wake up, these diapers in a small way helped me.  I will continue the sewing, I "adopted" DRMC, and must keep them stocked.  I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE YOU, MAX.