The Big Ice Fishing Trip 2013

Anthony, for some reason, LOVES ice fishing.  I promise him on one of his many trips that I will attend.  This year I also invited other family members to join us.  We only had 1 tent and 1 heater, and well I claimed those, I did share, and the others had to sit outside and freeze.  However, despite the coldness, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  Lowell claims he skunked us all, he caught the first, the biggest, and the most. 

 

Good Fishing, Good Times, Good Memories!

Valentines 2013

I know Ryann is 4, but it still seems that each holiday we have is like a first for her.  This year because Ry is in daycare, she got to provide a Valentines for all of her little friends.  I thought I had picked a Valentine that she would be able to help with, and enjoy doing.  Well, it lasted 15 minuets, it started with her being super excited, and ended with her being mad at me because I wouldn't let her make any more alien dog suckers with 5 eyes.  Hate to sound like a party pooper, but I didn't buy enough suckers or stickers for her creations.  She also got to attend a Valentines Tea Party at daycare, and she was pumped about going, except for the fact that they had to drink apple juice at the tea party.  That is my girl.  She enjoyed getting Valentines through out the day, and to top it off she went on a date with her Aunt Tana. 

Max's Valentine

February 21, 2013, today was supposed to be Max's due date.  I have somewhat been dreading this day.  Today, I should be welcoming my boy into this world.  I should be holding him, rocking him,  singing to him, and answering Ryann's 20 questions that would have come with everything.  Instead my arms are empty, my heart is broken, and my 20 questions are "Why?"  I will never understand why my son was called Home early, the tears will never just stop, and my heart will never be whole, but I do know that I must Carry On, and the only way I can is through Him.

 

  I have been truly blessed to be surrounded by people that love me.  I am ever so grateful for my parents, my brother, sister, and my in.laws, the love and understanding that has come from them at this time has helped in so many ways.  I am so grateful for my husband, Anthony has been so strong, caring, and patient with me.  There has been countless times where he has just sat there with me, letting the tears fall, letting me go off on how all this sucks,  letting me freely discuss how I feel, and then taking my hand and telling me that one day it will be okay, I will be able to be with Max again.  I Love you Anthony.

 

I am truly grateful for the gospel.  I can't even imaging going through this with out it.  I decided to spend today at the temple, and with Max at his grave.  I have always enjoyed going to the Temple, but after Max, it has given me so much more.  The promises that we are given, and the closeness that I feel while I am sitting there is,  well, Beautiful.  I love sitting with Max at his grave, I can't wait until it warms up, but I still enjoy  it.  It honestly comforts me, and well, I don't have a lot to hang on to, and I love going there and talking to him.  I think Anthony thinks I am a bit nuts for doing it, but I tell him it doesn't bother me and I don't think there is a soul there that is going to mind.

 

Families are Forever, and I promise Max, I will be there on that Beautiful Day.  Love You!